I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
