gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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