I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
