I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
