oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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