I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
