you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
