Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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