What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
