I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
