I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We are two peas in an std pod
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Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
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Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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