I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
