Apparently you make a good broom.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
