The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize