like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
