Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
