so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
