STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm having to shit out rocks
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize