Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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