Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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