I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
