Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize