Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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