"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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