Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She needs sedatives and a leash
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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