somebody snuck up and got me drunk
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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