Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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