He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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