I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
