Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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