My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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