fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
