I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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