You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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