Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize