I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
