i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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