apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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