you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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