in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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