i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
