Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
