Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
