Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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