its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
