Duck Duck Cougar?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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