Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
