my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
