It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
