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Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
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