they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.