I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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