You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
