3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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