Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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