You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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