i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
