what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
My life is pants optional.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize