Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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