I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
