I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
